Jeffy, the flaming beast bunny's Journal|
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Jeffy, the flaming beast bunny's LiveJournal:
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|Saturday, October 17th, 2009|
|Wednesday, September 21st, 2005|
|Yeah, I know it's been years and then I come back with a damn stupid meme...
LJ Interests meme results
They're so cute.
- crappy pop music:
I probably liked crappy pop music before you were cool enough to realize it was awesome.
- flipping switches:
Man I can't get enough of them switches.
I don't like them all, but I like a few.
- loud music:
Especially when it's bad.
- people with large foreheads:
- red hair:
It is needed to wash my hair. Oh yeah, also she is from a cartoon.
- stupid t-shirts:
I wear them all of the time.
I wear them most of the time.
Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.
I probably did this because I hate you. I'm not sure. Current Mood: testicles
|Sunday, September 12th, 2004|
|Sunday, August 1st, 2004|
|Saturday, June 30th, 2001|
I wonder... have I already used that title?
...It's Queen. *listens to CD he found* ..hee.
Aww. This one's sad.
o/~ Can't you see that it's impossible to choose! o/~
o/~ Too much love will kill... just as sure as not at aaalllll! o/~
Yea, I hear ya, Queen. How you fill me with feeling. You and your soulfull grooves. Current Mood: ecstatic
|Monday, June 4th, 2001|
|Why can't this just be the end.
There's so much for me to be writing right now, and I want more than anything to unleash how I feel and just push it all in front of you all. Please. Don't. Hate me. For not being... ABLE TO. This music is terrible. I'm turning it off... no... I like this song. Heh. I'm typing like Eternia. Why am I talking? I don't want to tell anyone anything. I'll be flooded by questions I'm not allowed to answer and I'll want to tear my eyes out with rusty nails duct taped onto my bloody fingernails that I scratched myself raw with. And who wants that. Oh wait... that might be fun for a lot of people to watch, huh. I should sell tickets. "What's on my ticket, Daddy?" "Blood entrails, hunny. Now let me buy you some cotton candy." ....I'm so stupid. I'm stupid stupid supid. But it could be worse. At least I'm stupid. At least I'm not heartless. How ironic. I actually supposedly am heartless. And if you ever listen to Tassle, a lot of other things along the same lines. But no one ever listens to Tassle. I do. I wish I didn't. I wish I didn't do a lot of things. I wish I didn't have to. I wish I had to had to, and not just chose to had to. Because I guess... I donno. I had to. ANd it's not a great thing, you know. You know? DOes this make you wonder? it makes me want to MOTHER FUCKING CRY.
In fact, I did. I cried a lot. Over things I never thought I cried over. Why can't this just be the end?
I've committed a lot of crimes for the sake of justice and love. I'm committing so many. I'm tearing it all apart. No one wants it torn apart. ...I wish.. he didn't do that... THE WAY HE FUCKING DOES. Why can't you do it RIGHT you fucking IDIOT?! Okay. I guess I'm NOT stupid. Fuck me for ever saying you weren't. Or y'know. whatever the hell you're trying to pull over on me. Oh. uhuh. You keep on telling me that. You're deep down just like the rest of them but in denial. Am I? What do you think. This entry is over. Current Mood: Guilty, Dirty, and Destroyed.
|Saturday, June 2nd, 2001|
|Typing in a pair of Black Rasberry boxers
Sleeping with Mahryk creates a feeling that's a little like something in between a blanket of euphoria and complete, utter torture.
It's harsh. Good, but harsh. I wonder if it's normal to have snuggling be so harsh on me. Hmmm...
He's a good sort of guy to snuggle. Very warm and cozy feeling... and I guess I get all hot and firey when I'm snuggling, so it was a cozy situation. A lot of people wouldn't associate him with the same kinda almost kiddish cuddliness I associate him with. Maybe that's my problem. Current Mood: awake
I'm sleeping with Mahryk tonight. He told me he loves me. Not sure what to say really. ...And I can't kill myself now. I promiced Karlant I wouldn't as long as he never leaves me alone if I ask him not to. So people ask me.. am I better? I'm a little bit worse because I don't have that hope and the ability to look to a positive future without me. But at the same time I'll always be OK. You know me. Even if you don't, you know me. I'm everywhere and a part of everyone. So now I'm going to go cuddle with my psycho buddy I've had a lot of nagatively violent feelings towards while homocidal and hope for the best. Wish me luck.
Or wish him luck. Although I'm sure he wouldn't mind anyways. Current Mood: hopeful
|Friday, June 1st, 2001|
I think I need a hitlist. Current Mood: aggravated
|Wednesday, May 30th, 2001|
I'm so through with all of this. Current Mood: depressed
|Tuesday, May 29th, 2001|
|Note scrawled down on a small brown paper bag
The best way that I can describe my life and what it is I do is as a hacker trying to hack his way through a glitchy program. I'm trying to debug the system, but it's so buggy it fights me. Still, I struggle to fix the problem, disregarding frustration while admitting in secret to myself that even the buggy system is better than nothing and realizing conciously that failure is not an option. I need the system in working order. It doesn't need me as much -- it doesn't know it's buggy. Current Mood: blank
|Wednesday, May 23rd, 2001|
Yea, I'm just sitting here chilling... ...listening to music. Damn. People can get on my nerves sometimes. I'm sitting here, trying to get a little peice and quiet and I just want to be like... back off. But people get all up in my face with the HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY WHATAREYADOING WHATAREYADOING WHATAREYADOING WHATAREYADOING WHATAREYADOING WHATAREYADOING?!?!?! I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I'VE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE!!!!!
and you know what it's like... ...you just wanna kick their ass.
But I guess I don't even get that before.. I mean first I'm taken away the great privalage of hating people... now I can't want to punch them or kick at them. It seems just so freaking stupid. All I can do at this point is cuss and smoke... possibly other stuff. But it's all that I'm able to do when this pops up. And yea, that's not cool. But I might as well make myself comfortable. SO i'm shutting people out and it's not cool that I'm teachin my little lady this great skill too. I'm listening to Mandy Moore now... I think that I'm seriously disturbed. ..Hehehh... someone in the channel just said something about being baked. ...ehehehhh... Wow. So I'm sitting here and listeining to Mandy moore talking about seeing what people are so clearly and how it's not alright with her... ..and then going on to saying that's alright that's OK and how she never loved anyone and how he never loved her or whatnot and I strangely feel for her incoherent nonsence because that's all I am right now, just running on making no sence and GOING FUCKING INSANE but can I?? No, I can't even go insane... I understand I understand I understand it all and people are on my case and I know I'm going to regret this in the morning but I have to have to have the to have to! YEA> HAVE THE TO. YAHOO.
You guys are lucky. This entry's probobly gonna end up deleted because hate looking at myselftal;k on especially not this long and on this much fucking shit and with this much fucking shit on my mind and I don't feel like spilling this out so i'm rambling as long as I can and trying to distract myself so I don't have to think about it so I can keep on going but all I can do is remember evry little nuance and every tiny insignificant detail however passing however ignored and it's all I see, all I feel, and I don't feel like making it profound or subtle... anything anything anything to make it so not a split second goes through... a split second to let me even consider writing anything real.... just let me spill out pure emotions into horrible horrible words.... meaningless everything. It's all that i see and I see nothing but there is no nothing because nothing isn't nothing and everything is so so so so so so so little.
STILL IT COMES!! AUUUGHHHHHH!!!
Yea, this gets deleated. Enjoy it while it lasts... this beice of... yea. you know what. and fuck spelling, too. Current Mood: high
|Tuesday, May 22nd, 2001|
|In all seriousness
There's something really disheartening about all of this. I can feel my body numb further and further with every passing moment... ...and the numbing even numbs.
I figured something out today after thinking of the picture of Mahryk that was being passed around with my little touches in it. Storen, the guy playing Izumo Shiro in the underworld (Who has a lack of fondness for Mahryk) mentioned something about needing a Mahryk dartboard. I was thinking and joking with Nicky how maybe I could offer him mine... yea. We got to talking and I guess it's final. I realised that no longer do I want to punch Mahryk in the face. This is either a very good sign, or a very bad one.
Oh, and belive me. "Desire to punch Mahryk in the face" was on the top of my priorities list as far as wanting to act on irrational emotion was concerned. Now I don't think I could do it if I tried.
And I talk about Mahryk because it's easiest comparitavely. Trust me when I say that there's a lot more going on and this is just a symbol of it all, something easilly connectable to all the wonders that is I. (Not saying that Mahryk's like a piddly flea or something. Mahryk's got his own thing going on, and it probobly just goes to show that Mahryk's not as stupid as he looks.)
Huh. I think I'm gonna leave it at that. I'm into finishing writing early and leaving out everything. It's wicked cool of me. Current Mood: crazy
|Looking at a box.
I don't know.. something's different I guess. Current Mood: drained
|Friday, May 18th, 2001|
All of you who were fortunete enough to see the half of the story I wrote here before, good for you, because it's gone. ;)
...Hey. I'm not always a jerk. I've got the occasional prudence mixed in there somewhere. Current Mood: nostalgic
|Wednesday, April 4th, 2001|
|I'm down with O.P.P.
I'm not going to make a big fluffy bunny out of it. I'm not going to cover it with candy sprinkles... I don't feel very good today.
There's good things about being really laid back. You can just look at most things objectively and with a subtle smile, you can feed the birds while everyone cries, you can just be
But then there are those every now and then moments where you stop... and you think... and you tape your mouth shut so you can't make stupid jokes...
and just listen to the silence...
and realize that's all there is
And there I am, alone, I guess. Everyone around me, but what am I?
Metephors are such cold friends to have. So is truth, and fate.. all cold, all heartless. But again, what am I. ..Huh.
So yea, basically I'm bent out of shape about a lot of old news. And some of it is old news that hasn't happened yet. ...But whatever, it should get old soon. Maybe I'll write something about it and see if anyone really will go out of their way to listen to me or if I'll just be the shadow I am desitined to become. Although I wonder how I can be destined to be anything at all. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I just am. Current Mood: rejected
|Tuesday, April 3rd, 2001|
|So I was...
So I was walking along, minding my own business... thinking to myself. When who should come by but Eternia in a very young form. So of course I ask her "Why are you wearing that with your hair looking like that and your eyes being how they are?" and she said "Because I want you to finish my teaching." PS, people. A warning. Devrin's going to be just like that, so watch the fuck out.
So I mean, what do you say
to that? No, you're done, go 'way? No... you got to.. Pssh. I don't know, but I really don't care about that, I just feel sorta shitty and am trying to have something to display how I feel. You ever just get like that? Kinda cloudy and pissed but still perfectly capable and knowing better? Well that's me on a stick and roasted.
And I can't be serious about this shit, not on a journal. How the fuck? I mean, damn. Really.
And you know it's bad when all I can do is spout off obscenities like a pirate high on sodium pentathol.
Uck. I feel real gross. And other shit is happening. (There I go again! Arrrrrrr!! #_
I've decided the reason I can't write this journal is because I am illiterate.
Congradulations. Current Mood: guilty
|Thursday, March 29th, 2001|
|Grin and Bear it, Fight the Good Fight
What a strange cloudy day I've had today.
I've been walking in a fog for so long. I'm sick of making promices that aren't mine to make, or breaking barriers that aren't mine to break.
I don't feel like explaining today, so I'll let you make your own assumptions. Have a party. Current Mood: dirty
|Tuesday, March 27th, 2001|
Y'know, maybe I should start using this thing as an actual journal and quit just being a jerk and rambling on about stupid shit to be an idiot.
Maybe I should get off my ass and act like a shadowbeast is 'sposed to act and quit bein a bum.
...When I get these kinds of thoughts, generally a few good whacks to the head remedies it. Or being anally raped by a spiney pole.. ...but all that did was kinda make me giggle. I donno. I might end up having to do something...
..damn... want something to suck... ...I should add that to my likes. I'm sure that will help interesting people to find me. Current Mood: Pantless
|Who cares. It's a high star, by golly. You just can't beat that.
This Live Journal
It excites me to no end, even when I sleep I dream about it still. Current Mood: high